To what extent are benefits mutual?
In this blog’s description we talk about “mutually beneficial relationships” (MBRs) between paid carers and people with a disability, but what does it really mean? And is that the best term for the emotional relationship between carer and client?
This is Maree Ireland’s take on the wording and meaning:
To me the term MBR has been a bit too academic (which served a purpose maybe to “elevate” the relationship) but then it becomes too unrelated to the actual relationship. Going back to the beginning of the project I thought the idea behind the stories was not only to “explain / illustrate the relationship” but also to “promote or enlighten the community” beyond what seems to be the understanding of [the PCA's role] as [doing] mundane personal tasks.
I think the “uneasy part about the relationship” is maybe the equality aspect of it which should exist because of the very nature of the relationship. By this I mean in other professional relationships like doctor, nurse, or teacher, there are clear boundaries set and they are helping you to get well or learn so equality does not necessarily exist within the relationship. Whereas within the disability support relationship the tasks are to assist you with daily tasks similar to what they do in their lives so the “professional boundaries” aren’t there and it becomes a more personal relationship through the very nature of the work. But then we want to the “relationship” to be seen as professional too.
I definitely agree with Maree that the term is academic and not very clear. So what do I mean when I say it? To me, means that both people get something out of the relationship beyond the simple exchange of tasks-done for money-given.
Say that my PCA hypothetically became the owner of a robot that could do all of my PCA’s tasks perfectly. If my PCA, instead of coming here, sent the robot then I would still have all of my tasks done perfectly. And assuming the PCA still got paid for hiring the robot to me, they will still have the same amount of money. All of what we get from the relationship that would not happen in the robot example, that’s MBR stuff for me.
But “mutually beneficial relationship” is still a confusing phrase to use. I’m worried about using “emotional relationship” though, lest people misunderstand think we are using the word “relationship” in the sexual sense.
What are your thoughts? Is there a phrase that sums up the emotional components of disability support work for you? Leave a comment in the form below, please!
Cheers,
Ricky
I am about to find out about something along the same lines…but not as needing a carer but what the public health system that do to help me with some of my disabilities that are particulary a problem at home.
On the other hand, I would want the ‘carer’ to be people friendly, chosen for me for my interests in life (so if I collect glass vases they handle them care)
A robot wouldn’t care two hoots about me…it was paid to clean up and it would. It probably wouldn’t have a voice, no real life skills or even an interest.
I would hope whoever was the employer of the person (let’s forget robots!) that could really see that the person was a people person with personal habits of good standard. That they would be matched with the ‘client’ in a proper manner. i.e. there would no point point in putting a 50yr person with a 20yrs. It just wouldn’t be compatible unless the 20yrs old had the mindset of a 10yr old and needed guidance.
I would want someone who wouldn’t just ‘move something’ because they thought it was in the wrong place. I would want them to be able to listen and work with me on certain issues etc
hope that helps.
BTW I am not in need of care as such
Hi – this is so interesting to me. I don’t use disability support, nor am I a direct support worker (although I have worked in direct support roles years ago). Having worked in the disability sector (NGOs) for a long time it has increasingly impressed me that these direct roles are far more complex and nuanced than they are generelly given credit for. I am interested in understanding some of that complexity a bit better so that ‘industry’ better supports, responds and really delivers on the policy that directs our efforts. If we can’t learn about these complex roles from those in them, what hope do we have in sustaining them or supporting conditions for improvement.
One thing that strikes me from all the stories on this site and told to me over the years is that the relationship is hugely various between individuals and covers a huge range of expectations and experiences. Ricky- your robot analogy really is helpful to me in making this more concrete for my understanding, thanks. There really has to be more to it than a straight exchange of need and labour, otherwise why are people so passionate about it -what is that about? How does that fit with the whole ‘professional’ thing?
What I like about these posts and comments is not that they present “the answer” but it drives thinking and debate – I don’t feel like I need to ‘judge rightness’ but to better understand; some posts might be contentious, even more or less ‘popular’, but its so important they’re all ‘on the table’. So maybe ‘mutual benefit’ is so infinitely variable it in some ways defies general definition….its relentlessly individual. Now that does fit current policy, but hard for industry to get a grip on / hard to plan, manage etc?
Re the words, one term I think we are more used to hearing is ‘mutual respect’ – maybe thru that knowing we can better understand ‘mutual benefit’?
Cheers and thanks. Look forwrd to a continued discussion.
Connecting above and beyond the disability.
I’m a disabled nurse. I’m overwhelmed trying to teach my boyfriend about competent care and trying to manage on one small income. It’s a daily struggle.